


Wildfire and Strawberry Kisses

by Viktaruuu112



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Brink of Death, Character Death, Choking, Coping, Crying, Failed Mission, Grief/Mourning, Kuron, M/M, Panic Attacks, Presumed Dead, Vomiting, Wakes & Funerals, Will have a happy ending!, mention of suicidal tendecies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-10 10:19:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viktaruuu112/pseuds/Viktaruuu112
Summary: "This was supposed to be a normal battle.But it was too late. They messed up. The weapon algorithm on this enemy was something they’d never seen before. They had no time to react.All Keith could remember was the groan and explosive shatter of metal and glass as the weapon aimed fast and true right at the head of Voltron and fired on full blast. And Shiro’s voice as he cried out over the com when his lion took the full brunt of the explosion."OR that AU where Shiro is presumed dead and the Paladins of Voltron grief while trying to uncover Galran secrets.[Tags will be added along with each chapter]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/RoseRoyaly/)  
>  roseroyaly on tumblr.

It was supposed to be a normal battle. 

Explosions and missed shots zoomed past them as they formed Voltron. Keith and Pidge’s lion’s locked into place as the arms. Lance and Hunk as the legs, and Shiro as the head. It had taken some time, but Black had finally accepted Shiro back as her paladin. Though it seemed sometimes that his connection with Black was iffy; like she had yet to trust him 100% but accepted him out of desperation. 

Before they finally found Shiro after he disappeared, Keith had been forced into the Black lion, taking him as her Paladin. But when he returned, Keith refused to fly her, forcing Shiro to sit and bond with her on the daily. He sat with Red, hoping their bond would somehow spark again and the lions would catch on that this is how it was going to be. And soon, Black opened back up to Shiro, and Red for Keith. In consequence, Blue accepted Lance back, as prodded by Allura. She knew this was the right team for Voltron. She was content to help lead the team from inside the Castle of Lions.

They were fighting a robeast with a huge bulky torso and what appeared to be earth deer antlers sat atop its head, shooting weapons from the points. This made it more difficult for Hunk’s lion to lock on to the beast's weapon-fire algorithm. Shots fired from each tip of its antlers. Its eyes glowed bright white.

The team was just outside of a neighboring solar system answering a distress signal whey they’d been caught by surprise. The robeast broke down the particle barrier of the castle just as fast as they put it up. Shiro bolted upright, running fast, barking orders. They scrambled to their lions to form Voltron.

But they’d been too late. The ship they were here to save had blasted into bits the very moment the lions ejected from the castle.

They’d fought numbers of the Galra’s weaponized creatures before. Beat them at their own game many times. But this one. There was something different about it’s spinning antlers. And they realized too late that the glow from its eyes burned their skin when it passed over the paladin’s through the glass windows of their lions. It felt if they’d been in hot sunlight for hours without sunscreen, even though they were fully suited, it hurt. This one was different. 

This was supposed to be a normal battle.

But it was too late. They messed up. The weapon algorithm on this enemy was something they’d never seen before. They had no time to react.

All Keith could remember was the groan and explosive shatter of metal and glass as the antlers aimed fast and true right at the head of Voltron and fired on full blast. And Shiro’s voice as he cried out over the com when his lion took the full brunt of the explosion. 

It happened in a flash. Voltron split violently into its 5 parts. 

His ears were ringing. Skin burning in his suit. Red was floating aimlessly, tumbling slowly when he came to. 

Slowly, his hearing returned and he wished it hadn’t. 

“No no no!! Shiro!” Pidge was yelling over the intercom, words broken by sobs.

It was a blur of strangled cries and confusion, a mix of every voice screaming in his head. He felt it in his heart before he saw it. Despair dropped in his stomach like a raw egg shattering on kitchen tile.

Pidge was flying toward Black, followed by Hunk and Lance.

“Is he alright?! Can you see anything yet?” Allura demanded.

“No! Shiro. No, please!” Pidge ignored her.

Hunk was muttering, “Oh my god… oh my god.” before the guttural sound of vomiting blasted into his ears. Keith could relate to that.

Acid was tearing his stomach open. When he tried to move his head, it felt like he was moving through water. Still, he struggled through the stiffness in his neck. He ignored the burning sensation on his skin. Red was moving before he told her to and shot toward Black with lightning speed giving him whiplash.

Behind them Allura blasted the robeast with every weapon the castle had to offer, catching him off guard and tearing him to pieces.

Keith was sick. His eyes were spinning and Pidge wouldn’t shut the fuck up!

“Shut the fuck up! All of you! Fucking move out of the way!” As intimidating as he tried to make his voice sound, it was tragically broken. 

Pidge was sobbing over the com.

Someone was hyperventilating, probably Lance now that he thought about it.

Allura came in over the infuriating sounds, bombarding him with more shit to sift through, “Shiro! Goddamnit! Do you come in?! Are you alright?! Answer me, Paladin!”

It was futile.

Keith ripped off the fucking helmet and threw it to the ground. He moved in as close as he could and set his eyes on Black’s shattered head. He didn’t need to see to know. He could feel it. They all felt it. The moment they took the blast, their link through Voltron ruptured spilling black ink through their veins.

Shiro was dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Allura attempted to bring the team together after the battle. Keith had maneuvered Red to take hold of Black and escort her back into the castle. He sat on the ground next to Shiro’s lion when Coran, Hunk, and Lance ventured in to remove the body; staying close, but never looking. He couldn’t bring himself to see Shiro this way. He wanted to remember him whole and alive.

“As is our custom, if a soldier… falls in battle,” Allura swallowed back emotion, “We honor their life and send them off into the heavens. We ignite their sacrifice with fire and light.”

Keith was hollow cave; dark, cold, vacant. If any thought even dared to enter his mind it echoed too loud, reverberating in over itself, blocking out any concept of understanding. His face was stone holding no expression, life, or even character. His forehead pressed against the cool metal of Black as he tried to focus to Allura’s words, it hurt his head. Why she spoke to only him and not the whole team was beyond him. Perhaps it was the sheer knowledge that Keith would be the deciding matter in this.

“If you wish for us to proceed, Coran and I will make the necessary preparations.”

Keith remained quiet for a while. Considering they had no place to bury the body, a send off like this would be acceptable, necessary. He nodded slowly, eyes closed and raked a hand through his hair. He was sweaty, skin hot and painful to the touch.

“You may proceed.” and he left.

He found himself in the pool, suit and weapons dropped heavy to the ground before he took a deep breath and jumped in where it was the deepest. He couldn’t cry if he was underwater. Couldn’t feel.

The initial strong rush of sound soothed him before calming into that deep quiet that only thick water could provide. The cold alleviated the hot pain that burned on his skin.  
He turned off his mind and allowed himself to sink to the bottom, ears popping before pushing off the ground propelling him upwards. Allowing his body to float gently to the surface, arms pulling upward. Once he reached the surface, he gasped for oxygen and pushed the hair from his face before turning onto his back, floating on the top. Staying hidden for as long as he could, pretending he was anywhere else. 

 

-

 

The customary color for mourning on Altea was Pink. Coran and Allura adorned themselves in it, their heavy hooded cloaks dragging the floor behind them.  
Keith, Hunk, Pidge, and Lance all wore the customary earth color for mourning.   
Black.

Under any other circumstances, Keith would feel at home in this color. But now, it clung to him like vines choking the oxygen from his lungs.  
The four of them stood at each corner of the pod acting as pallbearers as they made their way slowly down the long, dark hall lit only by the hum of pink light radiating from the floor where it met the wall.  
Pidge was silently crying across from him, letting little sniffles out every couple of steps. He wished she would stop. The other two paladins sauntered stoic like him, taking their places in relation to where their lions lined up with Black, tailed by the two Alteans. 

The ‘sleeper pod’, as Allura called it, floated between them, suspended as if it were on a magnetic track, moving down the hall toward the ejection sight.

They would set the pod where it would wait in the ejection portal until they made the long walk back to the main deck of the castle where they would fire weapons at it until it exploded in fire. It was decided that Keith would be the one to do it, seeing as Shiro was the most important person in his life. No one else could take on that responsibility.  
When they made it back to the main deck, Coran did something on the console and then they waited. The lights dimmed, leaving only a faint yellow light that rimmed the windows of the castle, and Keith positioned himself to fire.

He couldn’t believe this was happening. Denial was a strong force anchored in his bones and as he watched the black sleeper pod slowly appear in front of the castle windows, he felt something inside of him tear. Like the cheap bandaid he covered his heart with was ripped off leaving him bare, vulnerable, hurt.

He grunted and fired one shot at the pod. But he missed.

Yellow light filled his vision as his eyes widened and he shot again, hitting the pod but it only gave a small explosion.  
He broke.

It stung as he slammed his hands down on the console and fired up the weapon to full power, yelling out as the weapons hit hard and fast like a machine gun. They hit the pod with incredible force and they all watched as it caught fire and exploded hard in front of them in slow motion. Filling the room with fire and light.

This is what Shiro would have wanted. The remains of his body needed to be destroyed. The Galra had captured him, tortured him, forced him to fight, took his arm, turned him into one of their little playthings. But no more. Never again would he fall victim to their greed. They would never have him again.

He shot another blast to free Shiro from the weight of the world. To free him from the challenges he had taken upon himself, both willingly and accidentally. He shot for the Paladins. One for each of them, for Allura and Coran. And then he fired one for himself, the weight of grief blasting into the last remaining bit of the pod and exploding.  
There wasn’t even anything to hit at this point, but he was a grieving man, mourning the loss of the one person he could never live without. But yet, here he was.

He crumpled to the ground sobbing. It was quiet save for the noises that raked from his aching lungs. The hollow cave of his body filled rapidly with water, suffocating the air that he desperately held on to. It flooded from his eyes, a treacherous downpour, and he curled into himself, the black cloak acting as a blanket covering his body with the weight of its symbolism.

He felt hands softly prodding him, he wasn’t sure who’s.

“Don’t touch me!” He begged through sobs…. “Don’t touch me...”

And so, after what must have been an hour of watching the fire and saying their goodbyes, they joined him on the floor in front of the windows where the last remaining bits of the sleeper pod burned, suspended in zero-gravity, flames casting an orange blaze onto the room. And it was there that they all slept, huddled close together with the highlight of fire and yellow light on their features.


	3. Chapter 3

That had been the last time they saw Keith.

Sure, Keith was with them in his physical form. But as the next few days went on, they understood that his mind was no longer present. He appeared only when absolutely needed, and only then did they see the hollow shell of him.  
His movements were too stiff where he once was graceful, the lines of his face forgot how to move. Every gaze vacant, devoid of the man he used to be.

They wished he would cry, scream, do something, anything!

He’d closed himself off well. They knew he was not taking the time to grieve.

“Keith….” Hunk spoke to him quietly after their evening meal, finding him on the floor of his room, back against the bed, staring into space, “I don’t think this is what Shir-”

“Stop.”

Hunk swallowed hard, “It would kill him to see you like this,” he clenched his fist in frustration. Shit… phrasing.

Keith scoffed earning Hunk a hopeful feeling, a sign of emotion. He was still in there. Covered in a heavy pile of protective supplies as if he were a delicate parcel, wrapped in layers and layers of paper, bubble wrap, and tape until you couldn’t even make out the shape of what it was you were trying to protect.

But that was all he offered before he stood, slipped his shoes on and left the room.

The next days he was nowhere to be seen. Meals went eaten without his attendance. Even Pidge who had a bad habit of staying up all night, sometimes days at a time had yet to cross him in the evening halls of the castle. 

But still, she ventured out to leisurely search for him while collecting her own thoughts and feelings that surrounded Shiro’s death. He was a hero. Her leader. Even if she lived a thousand lives, she could never repay him for the things he’d done, the sacrifices he made. For saving her brother, for overcoming the daily obstacles his trauma forced him through. She chose the late night to process all of these things.

That was the evening she found him. Feeling slightly foolish for not checking here sooner. He was on the training deck running through simulations. It was 3 am Earth time. She stopped at the windowed door and observed his movements.

It was like he’d forgotten how to fight. His knife swung through the air lacking the precision and uncompromising finesse it usually held. But he fought still. Sweat dripped from his brow and soaked his clothes showing that he’d been here for a while.

So he was working through it, it was hard to see, but she was glad he was doing something, anything to sift through the too-many feelings that plagued him. Pidge wiped at the moisture in her eyes and leaned her back against the wall, sliding down until she reached the floor and waited.

She didn’t know what she was waiting for, but she found herself mentally and physically exhausted after watching him fight painstakingly through the awkwardness of his blade, eventually tearing through each bot only to have it replaced by another.

 

-

 

When someone carries you, you feel the jostle, the bend of knees and press of muscle against your body. A safe feeling, though it feels like you could fall at any moment, completely at the mercy of the one carrying you. Pidge didn’t remember falling asleep. But here she was, being carried down the long hallway held gently in strong arms. She felt the stick of sweat on her skin and the scent of hard work in her nostrils. Tears pooled under her closed lids and her heart hammered against her ribcage. 

As much as she wanted to lay unmoving over his shoulder, feeling the close physical bond that only they had as paladins, the tight link of mind and soul, she couldn’t. Her small arms gripped tightly and she dug her face into the dip where Keith’s neck met his shoulder and she sniffled against his skin.

Surprisingly, he responded by leaning his cheek against the top of her head as he continued down the hall to her room.

“I’m sorry, Pidge…” he whispered against her hair, “You loved him too.”

He stated this as if the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Like he was the only one suffering. How could that be possible? Shiro was irreplaceable.

“We all loved him, Keith. There’s no way we’ll ever stop.”

She cried almost silently into his shoulder and when he changed direction to find his way down a hall that led away from her room, she knew where they were going.

“Will you come with me, Pidge? I think…. I think I need…” he stopped when the words clung to his throat.

But she knew what he meant, and nodded against him.

Shiro’s room was cold. Mind-numbingly vacant. The blanket on the bed was still rumpled from the night of sleep he had before the battle. A t-shirt and a pair of socks sat at the end of the mattress.

Pidge silently begged for him to not let her go, and Keith was thankful for that. He slowly walked in, closed the door and slipped off his boots, toeing the heels with his opposite foot.

He sat on the bed slowly, holding Pidge to his chest like his life depended on it and leaned back against the wall. Even breathing was not coming easy, but they both tried their best. They were silently thankful for the company they each provided one another, and after a while, they fell asleep in the cold darkness of the dead man’s dwelling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> r u crying yet because I am


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days were not easy. Coran worked tirelessly on repairing Black with the limited number of tools he had to work with. Hunk and Pidge sometimes offered a hand to help, tentatively at first like they thought there would be evidence of the battle still leftover. But it was completely clean. They figured Coran had suffered just as much as they all had, but privately, especially if he had to stomach the clean up of battle without so much as a complaint or mention of it.

One morning a few days later Pidge quietly let the other Paladins in on Keith’s small progress but was interrupted when he emerged for their afternoon meal looking disheveled like he’d just woken up from a heavy sleep and hadn’t cared to look in a mirror. They stared at him, wide-eyed as he dropped into an empty chair and slowly began placing bits of meat and cheese on his plate. He tore a chunk from a loaf of bread and ripped into it with his teeth. He sighed like he was tasting food for the first time, dropping the bread and reaching for a pitcher of water on the table. He filled his cup and chugged it before filling it again and tasted a bit of meat.

Keith froze looked up and saw everybody watching him, eyes open in alarm, studying him. Lance had a bit of meat hanging off of his lip and Hunk had paused with a fork halfway to his mouth.

Allura greeting him softly as to not disturb the wild beast that had ventured too close, “It’s good to see you up and around, Keith.”

He gave a small nod and found Pidge who rubbed her fist across her eyes and accepted the knowing look they shared. She gave him a small thumbs up and returned her eyes to her own plate. Keith felt an uncomfortable embarrassment on his face and met his forehead to the table in front of his plate unable to process anything else at this moment. But he was trying.

The rest of the day was quiet, Keith retreated again to his room and they didn’t see him until evening.

 

-

 

Pidge carried her computer on her hip as if it were her beloved child and typed one handed on the screen as she walked the halls. Every so often she found herself excited about an almost-discovery and couldn’t sit still. An odd code had been received weeks ago and she was getting closer and closer to unlocking its secrets. She recognized a few words that popped out over and over again, they were in Galra so she couldn’t ‘read’ them per say, but she could recognize them. 

She stopped quickly in her steps when a strange sound caught her ear. The hall she was walking wrapped around to Keith’s room, and she was coming up on the curve. Listening intently, she wondered if Keith was using some kind of tool inside his room. A strange sound of tinkering metal, like the gears clicking almost silently inside a watch. It felt…. wrong. She moved slowly, kneeling down to set her laptop on the ground and tiptoed to peer around the corner.

Her mind rejected it immediately. 

It was Shiro.

But it wasn’t Shiro. 

It was too big to be Shiro. Too tall and bulky in the wrong places, slightly robotic in movement. And she watched as it stood outside of Keith’s door, waiting. Its eyes glowed yellow from the holes in its head. God, it even had a pink scar across its nose. Anger and fear welled up inside her as its joints groaned slightly. It moved it’s arm straight out in front and projected a beam of pink light onto the wall above the door.

She needed to tell someone! Alarms blared in her mind and she scrambled for what to do, her computer was a few feet behind her, she could summon her bayard if she needed to, she’d done it before. But she was so confused, she didn’t know what was happening.

At that same moment, Keith emerged from his room stopping dead in his track, eyes wide as his neck bent backward to meet the eyes of the not-Shiro. 

Immediately, Shiro’s demeanor changed, his yellow eyes glowed red as he locked onto his target and reached out to choke the small man in front of him, lifting him off the ground as he dangled in the air, violently kicking his legs to try to get free.

\---

 

It was useless. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t get free. 

Shiro… God, he hadn’t even had time to process. The image in front of him screamed horror. Wrong! Wrong! It was so wrong. Everything was wrong.

The hand around his neck was too tight, but still, he struggled at it with his hands trying to get air into his lungs, he wouldn't last long like this if he didn’t do something.

But he stopped, suddenly the world flipped into a slow-motion reel when he saw the arm in front of him. It was flesh. Real human flesh, not the synthetic soft stuff it meshed with. There was a clear line where the skin attached to it. This must have been part of the arm that Shiro had stolen from him long ago before the Galra botched a metal one onto him.

He was going to die. He saw twinkles in the air around him and for a moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. Because he was dying by the literal hand of Shiro, and for a moment, it was bliss, sheer poetry. He stared longingly into the eyes of whatever this thing was supposed to be, searching for something he did not find. 

Fuck.

He was going to die. It hit him hard when he found nothingness in the glowing eyes of this machine. This was not Shiro. Adrenaline burst in his veins and he gripped angrily on the huge fingers around his neck, brain jumping excitedly when he managed a small breath.

Suddenly he was flying, grip loosened from around him, and he hit the ground hard. Pidge was over him in a second, shielding him from the intruder.

“Call for help! Keith, hurry!” 

She jumped away from him hurling her bayard as fast as she could into the torso of this thing, knocking him back just enough to surprise him. Keith struggled for air but jumped to his feet and ran back into his room, pressing the emergency alarm hard before grabbing his knife and joined Pidge back in the hall. This alarm would call the paladins to wherever the alarm had been set off.

Lance showed up first quickly followed by Hunk and they hesitated to assess the situation for only a moment before Lance’s bayard transformed.

“Move back!”

Keith and Pidge dodged out of the way as fast as they could and Lance fired up his cannon and shot straight at his torso. The blast folded it in half and rocketed it against the wall cracking a hole where it hit and the light in his eyes dimmed, though not completely.  
“Don’t destroy it!” Pidge yelled at Keith when he started rushing toward it, weapon ready to strike, “We need to extract information from it! Anything we can get!”

Hunk moved quickly rushing toward the thing and grabbed one of its arms to grapple it. It was surprisingly easy, soon he had the intruder flat on its torso, arms linked behind it’s back. 

 

-

 

They locked it in a simple cell located deep inside the castle. 

“I didn’t know the castle had a dungeon,” Lance commented as he glared at Allura wondering what other secrets were hiding in the walls of this castle.

She matched his glare with one of her own. A hint of ridicule in the lines of her brow caused him to whimper internally and tuck his arms into each other.

Pidge typed fast on her computer. 

They’d been able to subdue the trespasser easily with magnetized wrist cuffs, as long as Keith was not in the room. It seemed that this thing had been programmed to kill on site, but only had one target. But it wouldn’t be moving anytime soon; Pidge hijacked its system finding the entire commands list that controlled its functionality. She turned off all motor skill movement and facial recognition. It took her awhile but she finally found what she was looking for. She shut off the camera system that recorded everything it observed, hoping that it didn’t have a direct connection to the Galra. It was most likely being recorded so that when it returned, they would have the information they needed.

The operating system on this bot was similar to that of the guards that Pidge had hacked into before. This one was slightly more difficult though. It had traces of organic data weaved throughout. Keith listened from outside in the hall as she attempted to explain to everyone her findings. An audible creak could be heard from the sticking cogs turning in his brain. It wasn’t making any sense to him. 

All he knew was that the Galra were monsters. They were still using Shiro as their plaything, his DNA, his very flesh. Even after his death, he could not rest. Keith choked back acid in his throat as his stomach clenched uncontrollably. He left in a hurry shutting off all processes in his mind and found himself deep in the pool again, hoping the cold water would quell the hot angry embers burning in his belly.

 

-

 

Keith swung his sword again and again hitting blunt stone and metal. His muscles ached from the work, but he was unable to stop. Like when you start spinning yourself around in circles, you know when you stop you’ll be too dizzy to stand and your head will hurt, so you just keep spinning, crossing your fingers in hopes that you don’t fall over.

“Not Shiro. Not Shiro. Not Shiro,” he chanted under his breath with every swing, aching from the brunt of each hit.

“Keith! NO!” Pidge rushed in frantically, stopping in the middle of the room, wide-eyed and dropped to her knees when he turned slowly to face her. His eyes held nothing, no light or understanding when their gazes met. Streaks of light blue fluid trailed all over his face and body resembling blood splatter. 

“It’s not Shiro,” his voice was void of emotion. He turned back and wailed on the prisoner again.

“Keith! Stop! Please! 

She rushed to her computer where it sat on the floor, broken chords trailed out of it, frayed at the ends where they once connected to the bot. Pidge gripped her hair and tried to figure out how much damage was done. The computer had been set to extract any and all data available off of the machine; the Galra were often lazy with their firewalls and she was able to hack into them easily. But now, most of the files were corrupted, and its source was a heaping pile of metal and synthetic flesh.

Keith gave one last swing before he dropped to his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow , this next chapter is gna be wild.
> 
>  
> 
> What she says: "comments are welcome! "
> 
> What she means: "Please for the love of God, leave a comment. Please, anything.... are you a real human reading this? what did you think? are you crying? do you love angst? hate it?"
> 
> if you don't have time to leave a comment I also accept kudos and good vibes!!!! Thank you so much for reading this, it means the absolute world to me. <3  
> i love you and hope you have a wonderful day.


	5. Chapter 5

The air was cold. The clean scent of sterile tools hit his nose and he worked to open heavy eyes. His blood was sticky glue drumming thickly through his body, his mouth tacky and try.

Purple light of the room shifted as eyes rolled slowly into focus. 

They did it again, he concluded, another experiment. It happened about once a week. He would wake, heavy from the familiar feel of anesthesia wearing off and panicked every time wondering what they’d done to him while he was unaware.

He’d been strapped to this table for god knows how long. Before he moved to this room, when was first recaptured, they locked him in a dark cell much like the one he lived in before.

“Prisoner 117-9875 has been reacquired.”

This thought played over and over in his head since the first day he returned to this god-forsaken place. It was part of a tool he used to keep himself grounded; going over information he knew was 100% true.

He tried as hard as he could to block off certain parts of his brain. The first thing this helped with was processing. He lived in a constant mental state of survival; emotions were not allowed, but God, did he miss Keith. 

The main reason he did this was so the Galra could not pull all memories from him. It was difficult to extract memories from an unwilling participant. They tried, absolutely. But parts of his mind were resilient, blocked off with vaulted doors, hidden so well the Galra didn’t even know what they didn't know. 

Without his consent, they had extracted too many memories already. It made him sick to think of all the things they now knew based on what they’d stolen from him. Voltron secrets. The inner workings of the Castle of Lions, well, the parts he understood. Which was significant but not nearly as much as Coran, Allura or Pidge knew. Everything of Earth, the Garrison… he wondered how much damage his mind would do. 

He swallowed hard, pushing down the worrying thoughts and focused on his breathing. The next thing he needed to do was make sure his limbs were still intact. He wiggled his toes. Good. Fingers? Good. Well, the left hand was good. The right hand was already Galra tech, but it felt unchanged so… good. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been here. Months, at least. He lost track of the days, only knowing a week had passed when he awoke from another groggy haze.  
But somehow, today was different. He had a strange dream of the Paladins but couldn’t place his finger on what happened. He often dreamed of them, he figured it was his subconscious finding happiness to soothe his mind.

But as the dream came to his mind in blurry pieces… he started to realize that they were sad but he couldn’t figure out why. He wished he could soothe their pain. Perhaps they missed him. That would be a happy thought. With the happy thought came an ache in his chest, it pricked at his eyes and gripped his lungs tight. He blew a slow breath through chapped lips and erased all thoughts from his mind. 

 

-

 

Later that day. Evening? Morning? He wasn’t sure what time it was. A small crew came into his room, only three of them. 

Ah… leg day, he thought.

Since they’d come to realize his muscles were slowly shrinking, they started a new routine of stimulating his muscles so they would stay strong. He didn’t know why, but he was very thankful. If he ever got the chance to escape, he actually had a better chance of running and not getting caught. He bared the pain of the electrodes stuck to his skin as they zapped tiny pulses into his muscles. It made him flinch constantly.

The crew left the room sometime later and only one Galra was left. Male in appearance, and smaller than the others. His movements were slow as if he were aging poorly. The lead of the operation, though not by choice it seemed. Sometimes he would wake up and find his kind eyes staring back at him, but he never spoke directly to him.

Today was different.

“How are we feeling today?” 

Shiro stared at him wide-eyed, pulse quickening at the soft, gravelly voice. It shocked him, but slowly a calm settled over him and he felt like crying.

He was never spoken to. Ever. He was an object, an experiment. His vitals told them all they needed to know, but now, alone in the room with this man, Shiro cried.

“I’m… not good.” He bit his lip and stared at the ceiling, “I need to get back home.”

“And where is home for you?” the man asked him simply.

Shiro felt a wave of reluctant hatred roll over him, electrodes still pulsing uncomfortably on his legs, “You already know that.”

“Well,” he tutted once, “I certainly do, but… well, your mental vitals have been… not so great lately. I thought you could use a little interaction? Hm?”

He gulped, “I want to see them.”

The man nodded at him, sadly it seemed, and turned away quickly when the door clicked open, a crew member returning with a clipboard.

Shiro caught on and turned his attention to the far wall, gazing at nothing, eyeing the old man as he shifted out of the room, closing the door quietly while the other one wrote notes down on a clipboard and removed the electrodes shortly after. 

 

-

 

Shiro awoke again. He knew it was the middle of the night because the lights in his room were dimmed, the dark purple aura around him settled almost peacefully and he heard the quiet tap of fingers. 

The old man was sitting at a monitor against the far wall facing away from him, typing slowly on a console as he often did, but never at this hour.

Shiro kept his state a secret and watched him quietly.

Soon, a large projection screen shone brightly from atop the console, suspended in mid-air. 

He squinted at the brightness of it and gasped accidentally. His eyes focused erratically on the different parts of the screen… his jaw hung open. It was a hallway, wide, clean walls, crisp corners. A hot tear ran quickly down his face. He knew this hallway. It was footage from inside the Castle of Lions. 

Oh, the beauty of seeing home again. The validation of knowing it was real, he hadn’t imagined it, it wasn’t in a different life. It was real.

The old man stood from his chair slowly and nodded to Shiro before he left the room as silently as he’d come in.

Shiro laughed in the joy of seeing it. Seeing home. But he stopped… a wave of panic washing over him. Who knew when had been recorded? If they had a bug in the castle, who knew how much information they were getting? Shiro’s eye caught the bottom of the screen, how did he not catch this before? It was a sequence of numbers, some of them moving slowly, some moving quickly. Like time was being kept, the milliticks moving quickly. 

He felt the air punched out of him. This was a video feed straight from inside the Castle of Lions. Current. And as he watched the seconds tick by, he recognized the location of the castle. It was the door to Keith’s room. The feed looked down into the hall from above.

Oh, shit.. They were keeping tabs on Keith. This couldn’t be happening. Keith was his weakness in life, and they knew this from the memories they stole from him. He pulled against the restraints, thrashing against them, but it was useless. What was he even planning? If he got off the bed? Run out into the hallway? Ok genius, then what next? 

He stopped again, a myriad of emotions swirling in him. Guilt, joy, longing, frustration piled into him one on top of the other when Keith appeared on the feed for an agonizingly short moment, walking into his room for the night.

Shiro allowed himself, just for a few moments to be blissfully, incredibly happy with the image. A rush of serotonin he hadn’t felt in such a long time flowed through him, a kind brush of happiness grazing his skin. 

But like all good things, that happiness came to an end when he heard himself cry. He hadn’t realized he was crying again. The flip-flop of emotions was making him dizzy. Oh, he realized, it wasn't him crying. It was coming from the video feed. 

Keith.

Keith was sobbing. Alone in his room, muffled by the cover of walls and poor audio quality of the video screen. 

Fuck.

Separated by time and space, Shiro and Keith cried alone. Together. 

Shiro wished there was some way to comfort him. Why was he crying? Was it about him? 

Surely they were still searching for him? 

Weren't they?

Had they forgotten about him?

There was no way for him to turn the video feed off, so he stayed like that, alone in his room, strapped to that damn table, dejected, listening to the sobs that wracked Keith’s body. 

Wishing he were home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dedicating this to @safeautistickeith on tumblr Thirteensocks on here. legit. thank you. BEST to bounce ideas off of. best brain. best just... the best ever <3 Go read their stuff it's AMAZING.  
> Also, Kicksign, mydude, like thank you for being so enthusiastic about my fics and loving them???? like you're amazing. you comment on every chapter and i'm like.. shook my friend... thank you. Somegoodsheith... the comments. i'm living. Thank you  
> srry for the angst, space nerds. iluguys  
> [I love Pidge I will defend her with my life]

Keith was unstoppable.

A crazed beast. 

A scorching wildfire of unquenchable thirst. 

An unrelenting burn. 

Unforgiving blaze.

He was black earth and ash. Smoke and char.

 

Days before Black was even fully repaired, she began to glow when Keith came near, calling out to him in song, pulling at his unwilling insides with the soft tendrils of their shared oath, reaching out in waves, pulling him in. Almost unwillingly, Keith took the lead of Voltron once again. 

He hated it.

Loathed every vile second of taking Shiro’s place as Black’s pilot. At first, it frustrated the very marrow in his bones and scraped like sandpaper over his tendons as he piloted. But, he swallowed the blazing heat, let it boil in his belly, and led his fellow paladins. They needed him. The universe needed Voltron.

In battle, when they formed Voltron, there was something forced, angry about the transformation. Instead of the grace that usually accompanied Voltron’s skilled maneuvers, there was aggression and too-forceful blows.

Though they were victorious, it was unsatisfying. As if there was a thirst for blood coursing through each of them stemming from the head.

Keith heard enough negativity from Lance’s hot-headedness and Allura’s domineering attitude. When they were speaking, Keith and Lance bickered constantly. It wasn’t a friendly banter either. Lance called him out whenever he deemed necessary, during battle, meetings, meals... It didn’t matter. Once it had turned into a physical fight, Hunk stood in to break them up taking the brunt of Keith’s blow that had been meant for Lance. He almost felt bad about that. 

After the first week of the new regrouping of the Paladins, Allura being accepted once again as the blue Paladin, and Lance as the Red, Pidge called him out on his negative feelings in private. 

 

They unsuited for the day and he charged off first. Always first. And alone.

She changed quickly and ran down the hall to catch him before he found the well-fortified solace of his room.

“Keith!”

If he hesitated, she didn’t notice.

“Keith, please! Let’s talk.” Pidge moved her legs fast to catch up with him.

He let out a breath, “There’s nothing to talk about.” They rounded the corner to his room.

She knew he wasn’t going to stop, he wasn’t going to soften at her sweet demeanor, he was resilient to it. 

“Shiro’s gone, Keith! Ok?” her voice echoed in the hall, “And I know you’re hurting! Trust me! We feel it more than you understand,” her voice broke and she swiped her sleeve over her wet eyes, “He died, Keith. You act like you’re alone in all this-”

Keith stopped in his tracks letting her catch up a little before he turned, face blank save for the tiny pull of his brows and blackness in his eyes. 

“You don’t understand anything... You don’t know what I’ve lost! Don't try to act like you know me, or that you understand what I’m feeling! God... You’re just like Lance… that hot-headed bastard. Why won’t all of you just leave me the FUCK ALONE!”

The echo of his outburst quickly left the hall and they stood in silence. Hot, painful tears ran down Pidge’s red cheeks. She knew this was coming, she sacrificed herself to his anger to get through to him. But still, the hurt was real. “You don’t mean that.” 

Her voice sounded so small.

Wish crushing regret, he realized what he’d done. Pidge, practically still a child. Suiting up daily, fighting to defend the universe. She was one of the bravest people he knew. He felt like he was seeing her for the first time. But she was not a child, she was a wave of comfort and understanding. She was brilliance and determination. And she was soft and genuine… and she was hurting.

Finally, after what felt like months, he softened. The tight strings of tension that pulled his shoulder blades together snapped apart and his eyes blurred with hot moisture. He felt like the air had left him completely.

“Pidge… oh my god.”

He rushed up to her and fell to his knees, grabbing her around the waist.

“I am so sorry. You’re right. I didn’t mean that... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… Please…”

Pidge lowered herself to the ground and moved into his grasp holding him against her as he cried. She felt the anger in him diminish and he struggled to breathe over her shoulder. This time, it was her that leaned her cheek against the top of his head, holding him as he released frustration and sobs of sadness against her neck.

After some time, she helped him to his feet and moved him into his room, reminding him to remove his shoes and belt… jacket came next. And the gloves. She found him a change of clothes and turned away as he discarded the days clothing and shimmied into the fresh soft fabric. She took a moment to tidy up a bit. He didn’t have many belongings, but the ones he did have were strewn about lazily. 

“Pidge!” Keith reached for her when she said goodnight and turned to leave.

His mouth hung open and was poised like he was about to jump out off the bed.

“I’m sorry I just… you don’t have to… nevermind.” 

Instead of leaving, she removed her own shoes and glasses. The lights in the room were dimmed to near darkness and she climbed into bed next to him.

“Thank you,” He swallowed hard, “You keep saving me.”

Pidge swallowed around a feeling that was sure to make her cry again.

“As many times as it takes…” She stared at the ceiling as she spoke this, almost silently, knowing it was something Keith had said to Shiro one before when he’d been rescued. And she meant it wholeheartedly. 

She would be there to pull him back again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter! kind of a bridge chapter tbh.

Pidge sat on the floor and stared at her computer. The information in front of her blurred together, days of decoding and lack of sleep would catch up to her sooner or later. She was thinking sooner.

An incredible floatiness surrounded her head even though her eyes were heavy. She closed her computer and laid back on the floor, relaxing all too quickly, the muscles stretching over her neck softened. She definitely needed the rest, but a sudden thought popped into her head and she shot back up and opened her computer to type down another thought.

Matt was wonderful; He worked with her secretly from his station at one of their safe-houses, helping her unlock more code in secret to help understand the Galra’s operation, making sure her hacking went undetected. 

She felt like she was close to uncovering something big. The sheer amount of information that she’d sifted through in just the past few days was incredible, but couldn’t bring herself to grasp all of it. She understood certain key points. Just today, she unlocked an entirely new portion, hacking into locked files as carefully as she could. The information she was staring at…. She pushed her palm against her forehead, elbow propped on her crossed knee, she didn’t think Keith would be able to bear what she found. 

It was horrible timing too, Keith was doing better. Not completely himself, but improved. Pidge noticed it when he sat with them at meals… bickered less with Lance. He seemed more thoughtful. He was just softer somehow. He would find Pidge at various times and just sit in the room with her while she typed away. Sometimes falling asleep on the floor or just staring into space. 

Today he spoke without being prompted, back pushed against the wall, legs long out in front of him, “I’ve been spending so much time wishing I hadn’t forced him back into Black… to lead Voltron. Because then it would have been me instead...”

Surprised and attentive, Pidge stopped to listen when he began speaking. His eyes were sad, studying a less than interesting spot on the far wall.

It was quiet save for the tiny whir of her computer, “Keith… you can’t-”

“I know… It’s just-” his voice wavered. He swallowed down before continuing, “hard.”

Pidge scooted her computer along the floor, dragging it with her as she moved to sit against the wall next to him, leaning her head back, finding the same dull spot to admire.

For a short moment, she pressed her cheek into his shoulder, allowing the gentle touch to act as comfort, and pulled her computer into her lap.

It wasn’t surprising when Keith crossed his arms a few minutes later and leaned his head on her shoulder. 

“You should take a break sometime… from the computer. It can’t be good for you eyes,” Keith advised softly. She knew he was right, but she just sighed and hummed in agreement.

Content to feel his warmth on her shoulder, she let him rest, not knowing if words would be sufficient for what she wanted to say. They didn’t stir when Allura found them there sometime later, asleep against the wall. 

 

-

Pidge had a tear running down her face and felt it drip onto her arm. Her computer had done a wonderful job at deciphering more code throughout the night, and she did the rest of the work of filtering it through the computer to decipher the language. It translated to Altean, which was easy enough to translate into English, but there were still some things that needed clearing up. She found Allura in a frenzy, hoping for some clarity, hoping that the translation was incorrect.

That evening, Pidge called everyone for a meeting, dread in her bones. 

“Prisoner 117-9875. That’s um... Shiro. And um-” she scratched her head trying to figure out the best way to explain the information without an uproar, “the project basically translates to ‘duplicate’ or ‘copy’, but that didn’t really make any sense… translated through Altean to English it reads ‘mind copy’ and then some words that aren’t really translatable. But after testing the small bit I was able to recover from this… thing’s tech. I’ve gotten a little more information. In Altean,” Pidge looked up to Allura who nodded at her to continue, “they regard the mind and the body as a singular term, depending on the context, so based on that information a correct translation would be more like ‘body copy’ or ‘clone’.” She knew the information she was dropping was going to hit like a bomb, shifting the focus of one paladin in particular.

“And from what I can gather from the list of duplicated words separated only by a single-character difference, I’d assume there are countless copies currently being created and tested on.”

You could hear a pin drop.

“You mean,” Lance croaked from his place on the floor, “They’re cloning Shiro? But… He’s gone.” he looked around meeting eyes with the other Paladins.

“He’s…. Gone. Yes, but remember when we found him a year after the launch of the Kerberos mission, his arm was missing. I’m guessing they’ve been using the information from it to do whatever they want with it.”

Keith’s body was rigid, his face was red with furious fire trailing under his skin. “That’s fucking sick.” hands found contact with his face and he rubbed hard. He breathed deeply, as slowly as he could, “They can’t just do that.”

“But they are…” Pidge swallowed the aching, disturbed feeling she’d been growing around this new discovery. All morning she spent making sure she had all the information correct, bridging the language with Allura, making sure she understood it well enough before sharing it with the group. 

Conviction structured his voice when Keith spoke softly, “They need to be destroyed…”

The stillness in the room was tangible. 

“Keith… that doesn’t feel right… This is complicated. It’s… it’s wrong but, they’re real people. Innocent people…Aren’t they?” Hunk counteracted.

“That thing that attacked me? The one who snuck on board? The one with Shiro’s face?That was not people.”

“No, Keith-” Pidge pushed her hair out of her face and blew a strong breath out of her cheeks, “He’s right… they’re not all machine. From what I can understand, the majority of them are entirely human. Well.. safe for the Galra tech... It seems like most of them have enhancements of some form. Like Shiro did.”

Pidge trailed off not knowing what else to say. There was no plan. With no idea of how to deal with this new information, they sat in silence.


End file.
